Typical Cammy. Does a gigantic renovation on the journal and then doesn't use it for a couple weeks. Yeah, I hit a minor depressive streak for a bit. Still getting used to being back in the US by myself. It's all good, we keep going.

I actually have a pretty funny story this time! Well, kind of morbidly funny. Internet drama that I'm not directly involved in, but adjacent to me and involving someone I used to know! (I guess if you're sensitive to the topic of minors getting groomed, you should steer away from this one. I personally have no feelings on what happened to me anymore—the last contact I had with the woman who did it was six years ago, she has no power over me, and I've grown massively with the help of Caby and my friends. Still, I'm not mincing details where they're relevant to this story.)

So over time, I've occasionally mentioned someone I call Brianna, or Chocoportals. This was an older woman seven years my senior that I met on Tumblr in mid-2013, so freshly 14 here. I looked up to her, because she wrote, I wanted to write, I wanted to have OCs, I was insecure, she was always there to talk to, and she was immature enough that I related to her at that age. We wound up writing a fantasy animal people world together called Elinar. All throughout, she was very, uh, sexually charged with my OCs, she had a real munchie, suicidebait-y streak (exactly what a 14 year old should be shouldering!), she loved to pit us in Somnol against each other (we were all like 12-15 at the time), she was nasty about my writing except when she encouraged me to write fucked up snuff stuff for her, again involving my OCs, and would constantly force her weird drowning/breathplay kink and also the stuff she knew I liked (which wasn't snuff, no—I'll put it like this, it's nothing you wouldn't find in any normal relationship anyway) into our stories and RPs. Eventually, she wanted me to move up to Canada to "take care of her", because she's again a fatass munchie who pretends to have strokes and early onset dementia and shit like that.

It all left me very insecure and very conflicted about my abilities as a creative person and how I felt about relationships, naturally, but I did love her and care about her. She was someone I trusted, and she was nasty and abusive and used it against me. I'm now convinced about 80% of what I got told about her life is a lie, though the biographical details (living in Nova Scotia, her name, etc) are real as far as I know.

Anyway, Brianna hasn't been relevant in six years, as I said. She fucked off after I got in deep with Caby. I don't know where they are anymore, but I used to have emails of this at the time 26-year-old woman asking 19-year-old me oh-so-sadly what Caby had that she didn't. Last thing she did to try and fuck with me was hand our ERP logs over to a mutual friend of ours (also underage at the time), who also was upset about my new relationship, and he posted that stuff very publicly to Neocities to try and embarrass me and maybe ruin my relationship. While I was greatly embarrassed by it, Caby stood by me the whole time and wound up mostly feeling protective of me. I think I have a story somewhere she wrote of caving Brianna's skull in and then us having a wander through a cottage with a bunch of hobby stuff we liked together in it. It was pretty sweet.

So this all dies in 2019—and comes back to life earlier this week. I got added on my public Discord by someone going by either "xxglitterlizardxx" or "Karma Chameleon" (the name changed mid-chat). It was an account with no information tied to it, no servers we shared or anything, but his first messages to me were, well, very funny.

Instantly, I'm really interested, but this person refuses to be forthcoming about who he's even referring to until I "verify my identity" with him. Obviously, no, you're going to tell me who and what is so alarming before I give you shit. Eventually he tells me that he's an indie game dev, and that him and Brianna got into an Internet slapfight, and now he's trying to ruin her life, including "building a case to bring to the Canadian authorities". He immediately propositions me to give him, well, logs of what happened between us basically.

Keep in mind here: Brianna is a creep, but I live in another country, and this was eight years ago at the latest. There was no direct solicitation for sex, and everything happened to either my sonas or my OCs. Very creepy, and yes, it was distressing! But this is not the kind of thing that you can feasibly bring to the police. This isn't a pedo trying to fuck some local kid, this mostly happened over Skype (whose logs are long gone), and IRC and Discord (whose logs I do have saved, but fat fucking chance I'm giving them to a random Brazilian who's on an Internet crusade against her, and I told him this many times). Still, I was nice, supportive, and offered to see what, if anything, I could send him that might actually incriminate her.

Long story short, he tried to get me to talk to the Canadian police, I politely declined to speak to the Canadian police, I was told I was "leading on people trying to get justice" and he blocked me immediately. "Doing nothing is actively victimizing children," I was told.

This is the part that actually perturbs me. This is entirely Internet slapfight bullshit. To quote this person directly, Brianna "bullied and tried to boycott [his] game, made up lies about [him], and got [him] banned from the server" (referring to a "horse games" Discord Brianna now frequents, which yes, is apparently just dedicated to games with horses in them). My past trauma here was being solicited for ammunition in a gay Discord fight in front of a backdrop of getting "justice". I might've even had an interest in helping were this brainlet not so brazen with his crusade tactics. Seriously, is this about getting me and people who have been victimized like me justice, or is this about you getting back at a terminally online Canadian munchie Redditor who said mean things about you and your shitty indie game? And this far into the future too! I'm now 26 with a life far beyond her. What realistically do you expect the Canadian justice system to do about someone who was pseudononymously weird to children online through OCs and RPs 8-12 years ago?

Really bizarre story, and again, morbidly funny. It's like if someone came up to me and was asking about Neo's past yelling racial slurs at teenagers or something because they got into Bluesky drama with her. The thing I am pleased about, as this sperg alluded to in his first messages, is that my retellings of what Brianna did to me are some of the first things that come up when you search her name. She's still, hilariously, using the same name in some places (though I know she has a bunch of alts as well). Maybe not the greatest look when you have a history, and supposedly a present, of grooming kids? I dunno though. I don't pretend that my mom is trying to pawn my 3DS for cigarettes every week in between heart attacks to make Internet people feel bad for me.

That's all for this diversion! I'll be chattier on here in October, lads.

Tagged under: rant