I was avoiding even talking about my feelings about this publicly, but I'm ready to put it to bed in my mind. In truth, this is some stupid shit that involved one corner of one niche scene, but despite my efforts to carry on, it feels bigger than that to me. I got ratfucked.

I got ratfucked! I really don't think it's because of what I said. I think I bruised some egos by being a prominent person in that community who thought 3.0 was unnecessary, so they looked for the first thing they could claim was the issue and did it real quick and secret while I was at work so I couldn't defend myself.

Consider that when borb got kicked out of the hairdog community (populated by teenage girls!) for quite literally saying nonbinary people were just lying for attention, she still got taken aside and asked about it. She got a chance to defend herself, despite espousing actual bigoted views. I didn't. It was all bullshit is why. Even if it was about what I said, people on that team could throw around racial slurs and anti-Semitic memes and it was fine. It got an "interesting" at worst. Guess if it's not in the server, who gives a shit.

When shit went down with the Quake scene, I took it personally. This time, I feel no reason to. About the thing that sucks the most is that I thought the people involved were my friends, or were at least friendly. There was no private "hey knock that shit off", no attempt to talk to me. I was just gone when I conveniently wasn't there. Something something sending a message, like he's my fucking dad. I don't know how any of this is supposed to reflect badly on me.

I privated all my community videos tonight. My channel belongs to me again. I've cut my losses, and what's important will be back in time. I have other hobbies, and other people who like me. I got invited into a server over this. People reached out and said they didn't think I did anything wrong. All the proof I need, frankly.

I did finally meet the new beer lead the other day. I think we'll get along quite nicely.

If you want something nicer from me to read, I started a series on Letters the other day called First Draft, which is about albums that got tweaked or redone after their first attempt. I've got a few others in mind for the series, so stay tuned.

I'm also a lot more active on blips.club these days. If you're wondering what I'm up to, or you just want to see me tell people they probably shouldn't be posting about their dandruff problems, I'm posting several times a day over there.