We are currently sitting in Caby's local park... (Yeah!) On a bench! The kids are walking home from school, there's kids in the play park, and we're talking about becoming Wiccan. (Yeah.) How's, uh, how's your day been, Somnolescent? I already asked this, but fuck you.
We felt it'd be a nice use of my final day in Wales before we had to board the coach and bus back to London out around Caby's village. We did actually have an errand to run; I was tasked with mailing a vinyl record to one of my little sister's Internet friends (which she spent a nice chunk of the morning harassing me about, but let's leave that offline). Turns out, Caby's local post office doesn't have the resources for packages, but thankfully, her and her mom got it mailed in town after I left instead.
Mostly, it was a lot of goofy chats and introspection. If I can get a little personal before the end here, there is a chasm of difference between even talking to someone online all day every day, hiding your phone behind the register, on overstock racks, and against the handle of table carts because you simply do not want to end the conversation, and being with someone in person. Online, there was a quiet desperation, an inability to read each other that manifested in clingy-feely neediness, partially because that's just who we are and partially because we were overcompensating for the lack of physical presence together. There have been times in the past five years when we thought, never out loud but certainly thought, we'd never be in person. Offline, it's so much easier.
For sure, there were awkward nights and sad nights spent processing things and learning how to communicate what we needed at any given moment in new ways. We were immediately comfortable together, but that's not the same as being used to each other. It's easier for sure, though, and y'know what? We figured it out. Here we stood, though, on day nineteen, and we'd figured it out.
And I had to leave soon. I knew I'd be back (in fact, for months now after being back, memories of the trip have kind of become a serious comfort to me whenever I'm feeling down), but man, I'd have to leave soon. But, y'know, at that moment? I was just excited. I was excited by everything I'd seen, the little shops, the record stores, how easy it was to walk or catch a train places, iPlayer, and just the overall different vibe than the US. I thought back to the beginning of the trip, the feelings of being on another planet practically, a lovely one, on the other end of the five-hour time zone difference my life's been ruled by ever since Caby and I started dating.
I had to leave soon, now. But man, I could make my life over there, I really could. We spent the evening listening to Mad at the Internet and stuffing my suitcase full of the plushies I'd elected to bring home with me, along with all of my clothes. I'd waste much time worrying about the prices of everything in case Customs asked; they did not.